


A Package

by sumomomochi



Series: Redux3 [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: FTM Dave, Gen, Pre Transition Dave, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-17
Updated: 2013-04-17
Packaged: 2017-12-08 13:39:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sumomomochi/pseuds/sumomomochi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How the coolkid gets the infamous broken record shirt, featuring Dave prior to transitioning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Package

===> RAVEN : TALK TO YOUR BEST FRIEND  
ghostyTrickster [GT] began pestering ravensQuote [RQ] at [21:23] ! --  
GT : hey q! what size do you wear?  
RQ : dude creepy much  
GT : naw dude. i found this total sweet shirt i wanna send you :B  
RQ : *dramatic eyeroll*  
GT : seriously! it's awesome!  
RQ : and im totally gonna trust you with fashion decisions  
GT : i'm not that dorky!  
RQ : suuuure you arent  
GT : *rolls eyes back*  
RQ : yours or mine bro  
RQ : gotta specify that shit  
GT : mine! i'm rolling my eyes at you this time :B  
RQ : dork  
GT : yup :B  
GT : but seriously, can i?  
RQ : i donno bro  
RQ : youre probably some old man looking to perv on my nubile, virgin boy flesh  
GT : haha am not!  
GT : look, i'll even prove it!  
GT : \-- ghostyTrickster [GT] has sent you a file at [21:39] ! accept // decline --  
\-- ravensQuote [RQ] has accepted the file ! [open file](http://) \--  
===> RAVEN : OPEN THE FILE

You do, and geeze, Ghost is the biggest dork you have ever met. His derpy face takes up a majority of the frame, his braces reflecting the flash to make his grin truly blinding, but you're pretty sure his walls are covered in posters for the _worst_ movies. Who even likes Deep Impact?

Well, your walls aren't much better. They're still sort of covered in squiddles from when this room was yours and your sister's play room, instead of a proper bedroom.

RQ : you are a huge doof  
GT : i know right? :B  
GT : so you gonna tell me what size you wear?  
RQ : i still maintain that youre aiming to perve on my tender virgin boy flesh  
GT : think that all you want, q. i just want to send my best bro a present :B

You sorta blush at that. Boys are pretty dumb, even in middle school, but you suppose if you _had_ to pick one to date, you could do a whole lot worse than Ghost.

RQ : yeah sure whatever  
RQ : probably a medium  
GT : awesome :B  
RQ : dooooork  
GT : we've established this, i'm pretty sure :B  
RQ : it begs repeating  
GT : lol, yeah, i guess.  
GT : so q.  
GT : do i get any pictures of you?? :B  
RQ : naw  
RQ : aint no way i could match your derpy self  
GT : aw come on!  
RQ : dude im already in my jimjams  
RQ : im supposed to be asleep  
RQ : time difference bro  
RQ : think of it  
GT : yeah :T  
GT : damn.  
GT : well, i'll just have to remember to pester you about it early tomorrow :B  
GT : also, my dad just called me for dinner, so i gotta go.  
GT : i'll talk to you tomorrow :B  
RQ : later ghost  
GT : see ya q!  
\-- ghostyTrickster [GT] has logged out ! --  
\-- ravensQuote [RQ] has logged out ! --  
===> THE NEXT DAY

Ghost does indeed pester you about the pictures. You brush it off pretty easy, lying about how you need a haircut like woah and there's no way you could ever let the internet see you without all of your swag. He laughs at that and you both move on.

Eventually, you get to the subject of your address.

GT : so i went back and got your present :B  
GT : dad said we can send it out this weekend.  
RQ : cool story bro  
GT : yup!  
GT : gonna need an address from you though :B  
GT : unless you, like, secretly live down the street from me and are this super creepy stalker :B  
RQ : dude you wish  
RQ : aint nobody gonna be stalking your derpy ass  
GT : dude, rude!  
RQ : *eye roll*  
GT : *eye rolls back*  
GT : but seriously, gonna need an addy if you want a present :B

You type out your address without a fuss. You're kind of curious as to what Ghost found for you that he thinks is so awesome.

GT : dude, i thought you lived in texas?  
RQ : oh right  
RQ : whoops  
RQ : cats out of the bag and im not in texas  
GT : obviously.  
GT : did you move or something?  
RQ : naw i straight up lied about that shit  
GT : :T  
RQ : you dont seriously live in washington do you  
GT : uh, yeah?  
RQ : dude didnt you get that whole lecture about not trusting strangers on the internet  
GT : well, duh, but who even listens to that?  
GT : besides you, i guess :B  
GT : who's the dork now, q?  
RQ : still you dude  
GT : that's right, you!  
RQ : you are the biggest dork  
GT : hahahah :B  
===> BE THE WEEKEND

Why would you want to be the weekend, when you could be Raven on the weekend?

===> BE WEEKEND RAVEN

You are still Raven, and it is now the weekend. You have just been alerted to your packages freshly shipped status. Awesome.

===> PACKAGE : DO THAT SHIPPING THING

You are a package, and you are currently being shipped from one coast to the other.

What do you do?

===> PACKAGE : ARRIVE

You have arrived at your destination!

===> RAVEN : FIND PACKAGE

Oh cool, the shit Ghost sent you arrived! It's... covered in shitty sharpie doodles of what you assume to be a bird, a ghost, him and a bald headed stick figure with a question mark for a face which is probably supposed to represent you. You can't help but giggle at all his silly.

"A secret admire, have we?" your sister asks, smirking at you. You roll your eyes and huff.

"No, gross."

The way she sashays across the porch, into the house, with far more hip wiggling than is strictly needed makes you giggle. Rose is way too much of a tomboy to pull off that sort of walk.

===> RAVEN : RETIRE TO YOUR ROOM

You do so, carting the box up with you. You log into pesterchum first thing, typing out a quick _got it_ to Ghost before you dig a pair of scissors out of your book bag and tear it across the tape.

Your computer dings at you a couple of times while you pull out your gift, sifting through baggies of home made candies and packing peanuts to find a couple of burned dvds and a tee shirt which, yeah, you'll admit, is pretty freakin' sweet.

GT : awesome!  
GT : what do you think?  
GT : got pretty good taste, don't i? :B  
GT : put it on and send me a picture bro. i'm not gonna let you weasel out of it this time!  
GT : come oooon!  
RQ : yeah its pretty cool  
RQ : not bad for a twerps choosing  
RQ : suppose it could be worse  
GT : q you are such a liar. that shirt is tight!  
RQ : dude dont say that  
GT : say what?  
RQ : say somethings "tight" that shit went out of style back in the nineties  
RQ : keep with the times man  
GT : hahahah, yeah, i guess you're right. but the shirts pretty cool!  
RQ : if it makes you feel better about yourself i suppose i could agree  
RQ : look at me a fab cool kid stooping down to a derps taste in fashion  
RQ : what has this world come to  
GT : q you're an ass, lol :B  
RQ : you love me anyway bro  
GT : totes  
GT : no homo :B  
RQ : no homo bromo  
GT : :B  
GT : so yeah. you should totally put that shit on and send me some HAWT PICS :B  
GT : still no homo :B  
RQ : only when you stop punctuating all your sentences with that stupid emote  
GT : NEVER!  
GT : you should start using at least SOME sort of punctuation :B  
RQ : fuck that punctuations for losers  
RQ : losers like you  
GT : ooooh burn :B  
GT : :B :B ":B  
GT : whoops no "  
RQ : loser  
GT : dork  
RQ : dweeb  
GT : yeah, yeah, i know i'm awesome :B  
GT : now put on the stupid shirt already :B  
RQ : jeeze fine  
RQ : brb

===> RAVEN : PUT ON THE STUPID SHIRT

You put on the stupid shirt. It actually fits you really well, even if the sleeves are too short. That's pretty normal, though, since you're freakishly tall for being fourteen. You just push them up; the sweet broken record graphic is worth suffering through weird sleeve lengths.

But you have no idea how you'll take a picture of yourself without giving away the fact that you're a girl. You're sure Ghost won't really care -- he wasn't bothered when he found out you were from New York instead of Texas like your pesterchum profile says -- but you don't want him to start treating you like a girl. It's dumb that people treat other people differently because of their sex. Like, what's even the point?

You barge into your sister's room and flop across her bed, voicing your complaints.

"If you don't think he'll mind, what does it matter? He may not treat you any different upon knowing your sex."

"Yeah, but what if he does?"

"Raven, you are such a girl sometimes."

You roll your eyes, "Bite me."

"Now there's the twin I know and love. Go put on some jeans and lets see if we can make you look like a boy."

You have the best twin.

===> RAVEN : GO PUT ON SOME PANTS

You do so. Nothing fancy; just a pair of plain black skinny jeans. You even stick a pair of socks down the front just to make it that much more AUTHENTIC although it feels really weird and halfway down the hall it starts sliding down the leg of your pants. Rose is digging through your bin of hair things, her camera dangling from it's strap around her wrist. One of your brother's hats sits on the bathroom counter next to her.

"We should be able to pin enough of your, ah, wicked mane back to give the allusion of shorter hair," she says, "But it doesn't hurt to have a back up plan, and darling Dirk has all these ironic hats he doesn't wear, for irony."

She raises one of her pale eyebrows, punctuation her words with a look of bemusement, and you snort. Together, the two of you wrestle three feet of pale hair back to the point where it almost looks like you _don't_ sit on it.

"Just looks like I pulled my hair into a pony tail," you tell your sister, making a face at yourself in the mirror. She rolls her eyes and picks the shorter hair of your pseudo bangs out. The fall and frame your face, coming to just under your chin.

Okay, that looks a little better. It looks even more like you have short hair when she tucks some of it behind your ears and clips your pony tail up in this weird, loopy way. From head on, it looks like you've got shoulder length hair pulled back. Your sister is a fucking genius and you even tell her so.

"I know," she smirks, "One of us has to be."

You smack her arm and steal her camera, shoving her from the bathroom. It takes you a good twenty minutes to get a picture that's halfway decent, but you do, and then you're running back to your room to send it to Ghost.

===> RAVEN : RETURN TO YOUR COMPUTER

You do, uploading the file to your desktop and the pesterchum window before you go back to read what Ghost said.

GT : okay :B  
GT : q you're taking forever.  
GT : hurry up man!  
GT : you must be super involved with your looks or something to take so long.  
GT : you don't have to primp so much for me q!  
GT : you'll be my best friend even if you look as derpy as me :B  
GT : and i am really derpy so you've got a lot of leeway lol ;B  
GT : whoops i totally did not mean that wink.  
GT : that wink is not a thing i intended.  
GT : cooome oooooooooooon!  
RQ : \-- you sent ghostyTrickster [GT] a file at [15:22] ! --  
GT : \-- ghostyTrickster [GT] has accepted your file ! --  
GT : oh dude, wow. you don't look anything like how i thought you would!  
RQ : yeah i saw the whole question mark face dude on the box  
RQ : is that how you think of me ghost  
RQ : im hurt bro  
RQ : truly  
GT : naw, i just figured you'd be more like me is all :B  
GT : but you're really tiny!  
RQ : i am not  
RQ : im the tallest kid in my class  
GT : then you must be in a class full of midgets XB  
RQ : no fuck you  
RQ : im like five seven  
GT : woah really?  
RQ : yeah im almost as tall as my bro  
GT : dude, jealous :O i'm just barely five foot.  
RQ : yeah whos the midget now  
RQ : dick  
GT : buttface  
RQ : nice comeback  
GT : yeah, i thought so :B


End file.
